Ice Blue Eyes (songfic)
by Lockheart
Summary: 1+2, Heero from Duo's perspective.


Yay! It's me! Okay, you probably don't know me... I usually write for Flame of Recca. Anyway, I present to you... a songfic! Yeah, I write a lot of songfics...   
This song is from the RK Songs Collection, sung by Makimachi Misao's seiyuu. It's a very nice song, and Sakurai Tomo is a pretty good singer. Go listen to it! Though the mood of the song might not really fit this story...  
  
Anyway. Here we go:  
  
  
Ice Blue Eyes  
Performed by Sakurai Tomo  
  
sono aoku kooru hitomi  
kono mune ni dakishimetai  
nakushita, kono yuuki wo  
omoidashite once again  
-Those blue, frozen eyes...  
-I want to hold them close to my heart.  
-The courage that was lost...  
-remember it once again.  
  
Those were the first things I noticed about you as you stood there with your gun. Not the moss green hair, not the slender frame, but those two bottomless pools of cerulean on your face, and the look of frighteningly stark determination in them. And later, I kept seeing those eyes.  
  
tooi senaka oikaketa  
tsukikage ni kakureru  
ikari, ienu kanashimi  
hitorijime suru no...  
-I've been chasing after you from far behind,  
-hidden in moon-shadow.  
-Anger, sadness that can't be healed  
-You keep it all to yourself...  
  
You were always the Perfect Soldier. So stoic, so focused. Kill to live, live to kill. That was all that mattered to you; nothing else was worth a damn. So simple from the outside, yet inside you were a mass of emotions ranging in complexity. Emotionless but suicidal. A living contradiction.  
  
kurai mori, samayou  
murasaki no kizuato  
yoru ni matataku ryuusei  
mitsumete-iru Ice Blue Eyes  
-Wandering a dark forest...  
-A purple scar...  
-Gazing at shooting stars  
-twinkling in the night with Ice Blue Eyes.  
  
You mystified me from the start. I can't help it; I'm hopelessly drawn to things I can't understand. And you were a mystery like no other. The more I learned about you, the more I thought I understood, the more I was intrigued. Behind every mask there lies a scar, and that's what all us Gundam pilots have in common. And I was fascinated by your wounds, even though you hardly ever let me catch more than a glimpse of them. I suppose that's a way in which Relena and I are similar. You captivated both of us without even meaning to.  
  
sono aoku kooru hitomi  
kono mune ni dakishimetai  
nakushita kono yuuki wo  
omoidashite once again  
-Those blue, frozen eyes...  
-I want to hold them close to my heart.  
-The courage that was lost...  
-remember it once again.  
  
But soon that fascination turned into attraction, and attraction turned into more. I fell in love with you, and before long I had to admit that to myself. But I never told you; never let you know. I never had the guts to. I was afraid - afraid of so much. Afraid of rejection, afraid of pain. And so I hid my love in the shadows.  
  
sono kizu no itami taezu  
oogoe de naite ii no  
atataka na namida wa  
koori, tokasu harvest rain  
-It's alright if you can't endure the pain of the wound,  
-and cry out loud.  
-Warm tears are  
-the harvest rain that melts the ice.  
  
There are so many times I wish you'd just let me in on your pain. Let me share in your sorrow, your hurt, your confusion. If not as a lover, then as a friend, or at least as a fellow Gundam pilot. I know you'll break down one day... but I'm afraid that this break down will mean your death...  
  
watashi, matte'ru...  
-I'm waiting...  
  
But I'll wait...  
  
tsuyosa dake motomete'ta  
hito, kogasu tsumetasa  
hokori sute, nikushimi de  
kono toki, tomeru no...  
-Seeking only strength  
-Coldness that can burn a person  
-Throwing away pride  
-Stopping time with hatred...  
  
You want to be the Perfect Soldier. Your life revolves around your missions; you'd do anything, anything at all, to complete them. You want to ensure the safety of the colonies, and for that you believe that you *have* to do this, that you have to be something impossible. You're already a miracle, Heero. But you keep striving to be better, to be a fighting machine.   
  
asu negau, tatakai  
yume mamoru, senshi yo  
yami ni nigekomu kokoro  
tsuremodoshite don't look back!  
-Wishing for tomorrow... Battle...  
-Protect dreams, Oh warrior!  
-The heart that ran away into the darkness...  
-bring it back with you; don't look back!  
  
You have the colonies staked on your actions, true, but while you fight out there in the open, in the light, you fail to notice the people silently crying for you in the darkness. We're all strangely ironical, really. I call myself the God of Death, when I fight so that others can live. You fight to protect other people, other dreams, and you're willing to give your all for that, and yet... You're ready to kill to let live.  
  
sono kodoku, ikari, sakebi  
watashi ni mo kanjisasete  
hontou no kono yuuki wo  
torimodoshite once again  
-That loneliness, anger, shouts...  
-let me feel it too.  
-That true courage...  
-regain it once again.  
  
I want to reach out to you. I want to fight for you, with you, beside you. I want to push aside that mask and kiss away the tears marring that impossibly beautiful face. I want to see you smile; I want to *make* you smile. But I can't. That vulnerability, so many years ago, it's still etched in my mind. We all have our inner demons; I have mine, too. I'm afraid. If that makes me a coward, then so be it. I'm scared, Heero, so, so scared...  
  
sono kooru, hitomi, tokashi  
kono mune de, namida, fuite  
atataka na namida wa  
koori, tokasu harvest rain  
-Melt those frozen eyes.  
-Wipe your tears away on my chest.  
-Warm tears are  
-the harvest rain that melts the ice.  
  
But your very presence has already reassured me. Not much, but it's enough. Now I want to help you. Won't you let me? I'm jealous of Relena sometimes. She expresses her emotions, she openly declares her affection for you. She doesn't know how good she's had it, to be able to pursue what she wants without fear. I'm silently standing in the shadows, Heero, but I'm here for you.  
  
watashi, matte'ru...  
watashi, matte'ru...  
-I'm waiting...  
-I'm waiting...  
  
And I always will.  
  
-owari-  
  
Did you like it? Tell me!  
Did you hate it? Tell me!  
Yes, I'm insane... the men from the mental institution will be coming any moment now... 


End file.
